cereal self-centeredness
This morning as my son and I were eating breakfast, I overheard him talking to his Cheerios. It was early, around 6, and I was sipping coffee and reading over my Sunday School lesson. He was down to the last of the bowl. He said, “OK you two, Ive missed you this whole time…but I’ve got you now. You can’t hide anymore.” Curious, I looked over and saw that he was speaking to the last two Cheerios left in his bowl. Indeed, they did appear to be cowering across the little sea of milk…undoubtedly hoping to be overlooked. However I must sadly report that they were not overlooked. They met a quick end, downed in one slurp.
Later this morning I was reminded of the following excerpt from “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho.
“The Alchemist picked up a book that someone in the caravan had brought. Leafing through the pages, he found a story about Narcissus. The Alchemist knew the legend of Narcissus, a youth who daily knelt beside a lake to contemplate his own beauty. He was so fascinated by himself that, one morning, he fell into the lake and drowned. At the spot where he fell, a flower was born, which was called the narcissus. But this was not how the author of the book ended the story.
He said that when Narcissus died, the Goddesses of the Forest appeared and found the lake, which had been fresh water, transformed into a lake of salty tears.
“Why do you weep?” the Goddesses asked.
“I weep for Narcissus,” the lake replied.
“Ah, it is no surprise that you weep for Narcissus,” they said, “for though we always pursued him in the forest, you alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand.”
“But…. Was Narcissus beautiful?” the lake asked.
“Who better than you to know that?” the Goddesses said in wonder, “After all, it was by your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself!!”
The lake was silent for some time.
Finally it said:
“I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected.”
“What a lovely story,” the alchemist thought.”
Webster defines Narcissism as “Excessive preoccupation with self …”
What do these two stories have in common? Am I suggesting Dave was narcissistic in thinking the bowl full of Cheerios were all worried about him? No, I am not suggesting that. Any worry on the part of the Cheerios concerning Dave turned out to be warranted indeed.
Like Cheerios navigating a milky bowl to stay away from a hungry five year old…you and I have issues in our lives that we work tirelessly to avoid. It may be a person that you stay as far away from as possible. It may be a debt that you try not to think about. It may be a fear or memory that is too painful to dwell on. It may be the fact that there is a distance between you and your spouse or children that grows a little everyday it goes unaddressed.
In many cases, these issues are such, well…issues for one primary reason. Like cereal narcissists, we have made them all about us. We can’t get over how afraid we are, or how unequipped we are, or how regretful we are, or how inadequate we are to do anything about them. Whatever they are. When in reality, the issues we have might not seem so daunting if we realized that they are not all about us. Not really, they don’t have to be.
We can make them all about God. All about how He embodies Bravery, all about how God lacks nothing necessary to meet our needs, all about how His loves chases away even the worst regrets with divine forgiveness, all about how adequacy doesn’t even touch how ready God is to be there for us.
In light of this, what is an appropriate response from God’s people to difficult issues? Don’t avoid them. With prayer and confidence, move forward in wisdom. And remember that your problems don’t have to be all about you. Make them all about God, and let the depth of your need reveal the depth of His Grace.
What color should your dot be?
I was looking for something in one of my older blogs and came across this one. It needed a little tweaking, but I felt led to post it again. Hope some of you new to the blog enjoy!
I was reading an article the other day that started me thinking. The article was by a gentleman who was a childcare worker at his church. He casually mentioned how they use colored dot stickers on the children to remind the leaders of certain concerns. I thought it was a pretty good idea. For example, Jimmy wears a red dot to remind the leaders that he is allergic to peanuts. Sue wears a green dot to remind the adults that if she gets fussy, her sippy cup usually calms her down. Danny wears a purple sticker to indicate that he has a tendancy to not share well, so keep an eye on him. Amy wears a yellow sticker to remind the adults that she has been recently adopted, and that her birth mother has made recent attempts to make unauthorized contact with her.
As adults, we don’t usually go around wearing stickers to indicate our hidden issues. I can only imagine that little Amy is so innocent, and loves everyone involved. But drama circles her little life so much that she has to wear a yellow dot at church. Some of us didn’t ask for the drama that characterizes our lives, but never the less it is there. It might be easier to care for each other if we did adopt the colored dot system. I think that I would probably be covered with dots to the degree that it would be difficult to walk. But we don’t wear dots to indicate issues that require sensitivity. We are left with the responsibility to actually get to know one another. The guy who sits behind me in church, or on the bus may have real needs that I could help with. But alas, he has no sticker to make me aware of them. In order to find out I would actually have to have a real conversation. We might be ashamed to know that our neighbors have been struggling with an issue for years, and we could have helped! Why didn’t they wear their dots! Why didn’t we just knock on the door and invite them over for coffee? Some of us live in the same house with people who have needs we are unaware of. Unfortunately, they aren’t going to wear a colored dot to clue us in…we’re going to have to care enough to ask.
the legend of the one armed driver…a legend no more, but still legendary
I posted the following blog back in the Spring and it got lots of attention. Apparently lots of people can relate to the issue of giving and recieving advice and instruction. However something happend last week that I never expected. The identity of the mysterious One Armed Driver has been revealed. I recieved the following email from a good freind:
“This is a picture of my great-grandfather, Olan Slaton. He lived all his life in Calhoun Falls, SC. He ran a store on the main highway as you passed through. He lost his arm when a logging truck passed too close while he was hanging it out the window.
The legend is true.
Jay”
My parents grew up near Calhoun Falls, so it has to be the same guy. Crazy Stuff. Thanks for sharing Jay!
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When I was a little kid I liked to stick my arm out of the car window while we drove. Back seat…before the days of car seat laws and child locks on power windows. I could fit one arm out…and I was a one armed Superman flying through the clouds.
My mom was not a fan of this activity. I suppose she felt it was unsafe and after simply asking me to stop apparently didn’t work she resorted to scare tactics. I still remember sitting in the back seat mortified at the story. There was apparently a man who, while riding with his arm hanging out the window, came a little to close to oncoming traffic. What your hoping didn’t happen…did. Guess who could buy the Michael Jackson glove kit and have everything he needed. Yikes.
It worked until I was a teenager when what brains I had developed mysteriously receeded and I was once again unbreakable in my own head. (Which we have already established was empty.)
I still hug the white line when I hang my arm out the rolled down window.
This morning I was driving my son to preschool and myself to work…windows down…arm casually hanging out of the window. My 5 year old son suddenly shrieked from the back seat, “Get your arm in this car!”
“What?!”, I asked. ( He recently spent some time at Grandma’s.)
“Grandma told me this story and it freaks me out.” he says. “There was this man who was riding down the road sticking his arm out the window, and a car came by and got too close and it chopped his arm off.”
Another generation horrified into compliance.
“ Wow” I said, pretending I hadn’t heard the story. “What happened to the guy?” I asked, hoping maybe my mom had added a happy ending.
“All he had left was a spot for a big band-aid.”
Man. The legend of the One Armed Driver continues. Needless to say there will be no arms sticking out car windows in this family’s vehicles for another generation. Good work mom.
Do you ever have that problem? My mom just couldn’t get us to do what she wanted us to do in that instance. So she had to take action. Do you ever just get aggravated that people won’t do what you want. I’m smiling as I write this and you may be smiling as you read it because there are two sides here.
One is the side that we all experience some days. You know, the days when you wake up and immediately get aggravated because nobody is doing what you want them to do and you are convinced that if everyone would just do things your way…everything would work much better. On those days its best to either stay in bed (because you’ll never get everyone to comply), or pray that God would help you have a better attitude Besides, His way is better than mine or yours anyway…
The second is a little more serious. Sometimes we do have a sense of what is best for a family member or friend, and they just won’t see it. Sometimes we can see a loved one slipping down the wrong path, a dangerous path, and we feel powerless to help. Maybe its a coworker that has confided in you that they are about to make a devastating decision, and try as you might to persuade them to do right, they won’t listen. It may be a spouse, child, or a parent that you wish would just hear your concern and love for them.
It may be you.
It may be you that needs to hear the wisdom and concern that is coming from friends and family. You may need to make a change in attitude or behavior that is causing harm to yourself or others. They’ve been trying to get your attention, what will it take?
My mom has now scared two generations into saving a limb from drive by amputation. If there is someone you are concerned for, and feel compelled to reach out to…don’t wait. Pray, seek God, confidentially seek godly counsel from trusted friends(don’t gossip)…but care enough to act. You may have been trying without success. But consistent loving (not judgemental) intervention makes a difference over time.
And if its you who needs to wake up and listen…God’s grace is there, and the people who love you will love you through it. And hopefully you won’t need more than a big band-aid to cover the spot.
being a godly man, not worrying about being wierd, and building more than a building…building a church
“What you do for God beyond your home will not typically be greater than what you practice with God within your home” – G. Wishall
Pretty profound. Pretty convicting too. This quote haunts me on two levels. The first has to do with being a godly man. As Christian husbands and fathers we have the God-given responsibility to be the spiritual leaders in our homes. But what in the world does that mean? Am I supposed to lead mini vacation bible school sessions in my living room every night? Am I to deliver long devotionals before every mealtime? Should I make my kids and wife memorize long sections of Charles Spurgeon’s sermons, or Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible? Man I sure hope that’s not what it means to be a spiritual leader in the home. I couldn’t even come close to living up to that. Defining spiritual leadership in those terms leads to disappointment and guilt. Randy Stinson has made a statement that moves us closer to getting at a good definition, “Dad is [usually] working too much, or pursuing his own personal pleasures instead of sacrificially providing spiritual leadership for his family.” Ok so, working too much and pursuing my own personal pleasures aren’t part of the spiritual leadership equation. I knew that…right? When you contrast those two notions with sacrificial spiritual leadership the picture gets clearer. Here’s what I believe:
Sacrificial spiritual leadership means being present. It doesn’t mean never playing golf or going hunting, but it does mean doing those things only when your family has seen your face and felt your presence. How long is long enough? If youre trying to figure that out…it hasn’t been long enough. It doesn’t mean rambling lectures at the dinner table about the 10 Commandments, it means being present enough to teach them through the hundreds of opportunities that arise everyday of your child’s life. You won’t be there for them all, but you can be for quite a few. It means listening…listening to your children and to your wife. If you will actively listen, you will hear opportunities for action. My kids were talking about an anger management video they were shown at school the other day. I would have never known about it had I not asked some questions about their day and listened carefully. I learned that the video had suggested a technique which I disagreed with. I discussed it with my kids and showed them what the Bible had to say about anger and controlling it. I added the values I wanted my children to possess on the subject. Am I super spiritual leader dad? Nope, I just happened to get that right. But that kind of effort will rarely let me down. It doesn’t mean holding church services in your living room (necessarily), but it does mean getting your family to church…and staying there with them. And finally…pray. Pray with them and for them. They may think you’re weird if you start now and its been a while, but I’ve got news for you: they think you’re wierd anyway. It might as well be for something spiritual, and they will respect you for it whether it shows or not. But by the way, leadership isn’t about impressing them and winning cool points; it’s about leading. Your kids don’t need another best friend, they need a godly father. If you want to be somebody’s best friend…be your wife’s. That’s leadership too.
The second has to do with our churches. If what we can do for God beyond our homes is directly related to what we are doing with God in our homes, we are left with some serious implications. The church should clearly be investing in the spiritual health of families more than programs. Many programs do strengthen families, that is true. But how many programs minster to the whole family instead of the individual? Not enough. Too often families part ways in the church parking lot and don’t see each other again until they arrive back at the car when church is over. Too often the spiritual training of children is relegated by parents to program volunteers and professional ministers. And as ministers, we accept the responsibility too easily. As Timothy Jones has said, some things are too important to leave to someone else. Jones adds, “As I examine the expectations of Scripture, I find woven throughout its pages that neither the temple nor the synagogue nor professional ministers bore the first responsibility for training children to be followers of God. The home provided the primary context for discipleship…” It is my desire to see our churches be more of partners and resources for men, women, and parents in building strong families. Only then when we measure our unified impact in our community will we find something of more worth than a corner of property where various meetings occur. Then will we find families living missional lives led by godly men and women who partner together as First Baptist Church. Loving God, Loving People, and Serving the World Together.
OK at this point in my morning its just …
OK at this point in my morning its just going to help me to write this. I just finished the planning for a week long “Love Loud” outreach event. FBC Woodstock has modeled this type of event, and it is from FBCW that the name comes. But the point is that for one week, people engage in hands on activities that will enable them to show love to our community. Seven days, the whole church, physically showing love in concerted ways every day.
Not giving money in love, not signing up to drop off some love at the church office, not praying for other people to show more love, not scheduling a meeting to discuss love, not outlining and researching love, not strategic planning love.
Personally, physically, emotionally, showing love.
I haven’t even looked at the church calendar to think about scheduling this event. But this event in itself is not the point.
The Christian life, and the effectiveness of the church is summed up in these elements. Love God, Love People (The Great Commandment), and Serve the World Together (The Great Commission). Loving Loud cannot be relocated to an event which comes and goes on a calendar. It MUST be a way of life for God’s people.
It is critical to the success of the church for people to give financially, but it is not enough. “Does God just want to suck the life out of me?!” you might ask. Nope, God wants to give you life. The kind of life you can only get by giving yours away. See Matthew 10:37-42 for more on this.
For the record, never sacrifice your family for the sake of busyness at the church. God desires for your family to be healthy, and stretching family time too thin so you can teach 3 classes and attend 2 more doesn’t work. You may feel like if you don’t do it, no one will. I sympathize, believe me. But it is also true that if you keep doing it, no one else will . And if you keep doing it to the detriment of your family, you won’t do it much longer either. Deut. 6:1-9 is clear, the home is the launching point for your service in the Kingdom. Get that part right, or your ministry and life will be top-heavy, and soon crash around you. Loving Loud begins at home. I need to be held accountable to this just as much as the rest of you.
Essentially my point is this: For too long the church has hired out real ministry. For too long we have allowed a few people to bear the burden of the work of the church while everyone else sat back and enjoyed their labor. (I’m not refering to the pastors) For too long we have convinced ourselves that giving to the church financially is sufficient, and that if the money was there, surely someone would volunteer to serve. For too long we have settled for dropping supplies off at the church office so someone else can do the work instead of showing up with your sleeves rolled up ready to get at it. And all this has happened so we could take care of the club members while the folks riding past he property every day continue to suffer and struggle. This is true in every church in America.
I need some folks to volunteer to BE AT the church and participate in Trunk or Treat, not just drop off candy for it at the church office. The candy is not the point, you are. If candy was the point we could set out a few buckets in front of the church and all stay home and watch TV. The point is that the PEOPLE of the church be here to meet and interact with the families of our community. Drive your car up to the church, sit behind it, and enjoy people for a couple of hours. But let me know so I can expect you. dwalker@firstbaptistthomson.org
How does real change happen? Everybody has to do something. Everybody has to look beyond themselves and participate in one of the ministries of the church.
If donating supplies is physically the best you can do, then God bless you, and THANK YOU. That is your part and it matters greatly. Your service is no less valuable than anyone else’s.
If you are physically able, and can’t think of a way you have rolled up your sleeves and participated in an activity designed for someone other than yourself in the last year…pray, seek God as to how you could get involved, and stop waiting on someone else to do what you know needs to happen. I am here to help in any way I can. Like Jim said yesterday, the local church is this world’s best hope for salvation. That’s what Jesus intended.
the mingling of two worlds I’m sittin…
the mingling of two worlds
I’m sitting here blankly staring at the floor after a busy Sunday morning. I had several teachers out this morning in Sunday School so I combined a couple of classes with mine and taught a large group. The end result was several young adults in a class with quite a few senior adult men who were gracious enough to invite us into their classroom. And in the midst of that blending, I received a blessing that is just now sinking in.
I serve in a church that has an extraordinarily high number of very distinguished elderly men and women. Many of them served honorably in the military, including serving in critical battles of WWII. The class I taught this morning had several of these gentlemen in it, one of which was at Pearl Harbor in 1941 when it was bombed by the Japanese. Also visiting in my class today was a young lady who recently returned from doing short term missions in Papua New Guinea. Because she was a new face, I introduced her to the class. Several of the men perked up immediately as they had been stationed in Papua New Guinea during WWII. This sparked a fascinating conversation.
She shared just a little of what she had done there, but these men didn’t need to hear much to be moved by her presence. While she had been working in a very different environment than the one in which they experienced, they felt a kinship to her. Apparently Japan seized Papua New Guinea, and surrounding islands, in March of 1942 because of their strategic location. American and Australian forces teamed up for some fierce fighting to eventually drive the Japanese out of Papua New Guinea in 1943 sometime. At least one of the men there this morning was a part of that offensive, others arrived in country soon after.
I have no idea how these soldiers viewed the locals of Papua New Guinea. As far as I can tell, the locals didn’t fight for either side definitively, although I may be wrong. But my sense is our soldiers understood that as they were weakening Japan by taking back Papua New Guinea, they were also setting the locals free from invading/occupying forces. These were heated battles, and the Japanese fought for every square mile they had occupied. It was a critical victory for Allied Forces. You can start reading more here.
Now 67 years later, these men meet a young lady who has visited that same place attempting to set more locals free. However she wasn’t fighting an enemy that was physically occupying the countryside, she was bringing the light of the gospel to the dark places of hearts that are prisoners of sin.
It is true that had American and Australian forces not prevailed there, and overall in WWII, Papua New Guinea and the world might not be open for the gospel to be spread so freely today. In many ways, though they didn’t perhaps forsee it at the time, these men fought 67 years ago to make a world safe from tyranny that would happily see the spread of the gospel shut down.
The men prayed for her this morning, and voted to donate some money to support her missions activity. But the gift they gave all of us as they served so bravely back then is worth immeasurably more than they even know, or would ever admit. I pray that my generation might contribute something a fraction so meaningful to the world as these men. Perhaps we can begin by loving and honoring the ones of them who are still with us.
Trunk or Treat Example Photos
Click on images for larger view
This is a great post from Ed Stetzer on …
This is a great post from Ed Stetzer on the value of being Southern Baptist. Stetzer is a prolific writer and important voice in the world of missional living and church planting. It is important to hear these kinds of messages from denominational leaders from time to time. The SBC is in many ways, as strong as ever. However, in some very important ways this is a critical time for the SBC with leadership positions open at the IMB, NAMB, and now the Executive Committee. The Great Commission Resurgance Task Force is doing important work, asking important questions, and preparing to make some important recommendations in Orlando at the 2010 convention. This is a time for Southern Baptists and all Christians to pray, seek God’s guidance, and focus on the principles that have been our strength and source of unity for decades. We have accomplished so much, in such a short amount of time. It is my prayer that our cooperation, which has had such a positive impact on Kingdom Growth, would continue to be strong for decades to come.
http://www.betweenthetimes.com
Hobart the disciple. This morning I was…
Hobart the disciple.
This morning I was teaching my children about what it means to be a disciple. We were discussing over breakfast what it means to be a leader/follower, and how Christian leadership means that you do both. We follow Jesus, and we lead others.
My daughter has no problem making decisions and delegating. She is a natural leader. She will either run a large coorporation, or a small country one day I am certain. She has made freinds with a little boy in her 1st grade class who, bless his heart, is a follower. To protect the innocent, lets call him…Hobart. Hobart is a little shy, and he seems happy to get help from my daughter when it comes to how to spend his free time at school. My daughter, in turn, is happy to help him stay productive. This morning during our discussion on discipleship my daughter looked up and smiled. I could almost see the light bulb over her head. “That’s like Hobart daddy” she said, “he follows me around. He’s my disciple!”
Hobart the disciple.
Well of course, after a good laugh, we talked about freindship and how to be a leader when you are 6 years old. She needed a little guidance, but had the general idea. God gives us all a certain amount of influence. We can choose to use it for good, or bad purposes.
With whom has God given you influence in your life? God gives us influence so that we can use it to protect and help those who cannot help themselves. God gives us influence so that we can use it to share His love. Are you using your influence to rescue and protect those who are weak, or contribute to their struggle? Are you using your influence to build up those who need it, or tear them down? Are you using your influence to build the Kingdom of God, or the kingdom of you?
